I don't know what to say

I want to apologize.
I want to say I'm sorry
not for what i've done, because I feel that there's nothing wrong with it
but just for thinking it was a good idea to try and protect him.
I still want him in my life
He really means so much to me still
Even after everything
I don't want to lose you

I want to talk to him
and see what you want
if you're even worth going through all of this possible difficulties

I want to know what he told him and vice versa

I don't like being in the dark

I hate not knowing what's going on

I don't want things to change

But I want things to change if that means things will get better...and that means in general.

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