11.26.2009

in with the new

I like blogger
but I kinda like tumblr better.

11.25.2009

grenvy

"http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/gawker_tv/2009/11/surprise-2170-1258644856-34.jpg

Last night Justin Johnson took over every tumblr user's dashboard to propose to girlfriend Marissa Nystrom using a video he made about the six years they'd been together. Usually I would mock such romanticism but it's kind of sweet. Perhaps my icey heart is melting, very slowly, but melting nonetheless. "


11.24.2009

If I act weird sometimes

it's not because of you
the things in my head make me act that way
i'm sorry if I seem quiet
or angry or upset
I just need some time to empty out these thoughts
and go through my compulsions
I'll bite my lip
and scratch my arms
pick at my neck
and rub my eyes

sometimes its worse than others
I can easily push through once in a while
it's not that bad
just a little tiring
but I can do it
others though, I can't even move
it takes all my energy just to not start breaking down
because I would never want you to see me like that
I don't want anyone to see me that vulnerable.
All I can do is lay there.
All I can do is close my eyes
and pray it stops soon.

this weekend I had a bad one
I just said I had a headache
which wasn't a total lie
but really, there was more than just an ache in my head
I have no idea what triggered it
I was fine for a while
but it just gradually got worse and worse throughout the day
to the point where I couldn't fight it anymore.

certain things helped
some things just made it worse
seeing you definitely didn't help
you are just a reminder now of how I only know how to hurt people
and then seeing him made me realize how
I'm just never good enough

being by water usually helps
but when we went
it reminded me of this place california
where I used to go fishing
with my grandfather

I really wanted to just walk away
from everyone
and everthing
but I knew I couldn't
I would either have been followed
or have been considered rude

I really just want this all to stop
i'm ready to get better
I really am
I promise

alice, wendy and dorothy gone wild


File-Lostgirls_cover.jpg


Lost Girls
is probably one of the funniest comics
i've read in a while
it's probably not meant to be funny
but dorothy from the wizard of oz getting eaten out in the bushes?
fuckin hilarious

and wendy
being fucked by peter pan
while her 2 brothers michael and john sit at the end of the bed
and jerk eachother off??
genious!



I really fuckin hate you

I can't even count the number of times I've wanted to punch you
in the fuckin face.
stop it.
now.
otherwise you're gonna lose me forever
and honestly I wouldn't care if I shut you out of my life.

and if I had the chance you know Id do it all again

its gonna be a damn rough night for
the designated driver cause its
me and whoever
& you know we won't remember
sorry for what i'm about to do
turning 21 is a bitch to go through

before we take a drink
let's toast to the never have I ever's
cause tonight is the night that we'll talk about forever
so take my key and have my cell phone
if I turn into trouble at least I warned you

let's recap
let's caught up
no one said enoughs enough
I let go of the better part of me

I guess I had a damn rough night
i'm still piecing it together
theres a girl in my bed
and I never even met her
I had a damn rough night
and I can't even remember
throw my clothes in the fire
and I turned into a streaker
sorry for what i'm about to do
turning 21 is a bitch to go through
all these crazy things we do
turning 21 is a bitch to go through

and if I had the chance
you know
Id do it all again
and if I had the chance
you know
Id do it all again




twisted & tangled

so there's this song I know
it once made me think of sorrow and pain
it went from that to thinking of happiness
but then it reverted to a completely different meaning
meaningless
it's now just some guitar
some drums
a little bass
silly words
cliche melodies
there's just nothing to the song anymore
unable to evoke any emotions out of me
and that's because that's the same thing you did to me


what can I do?
I'll say what you already know
I know you just want to figure things out
trust me, I do too
it won't make anything more okay though


11.23.2009

I know you're uncomfortable. I am too.




My love I lack the confidence
To say what's on my mind
I guess I'm prone to shake and sweat
Confounded every time
I see you do the things you do
Pale and bright you shine
It goes I need you here with me
I need you just to see me
I need you here with me
Yet it is only a dream to me
I knew that you could save my life
Without a word exchange
Your way with words
So insecure
Can barely speak my name
My crumbled spine and faulty lines
I'm sick, I'm small and strange
I need you here with me
I need you just to see me
I need you here with me
Yet it is only a dream to me
I saw you standing there
Alone with your guitar
Like I was staring into the mirror
Seeing the same sad scar
I want to reach into you
I want to hold you here
But the tremors in your body make it hard to sleep
Yeah the tremors in my body make it hard to speak these words
I need you here with me
I need you just to see me
I need you here with me
Yet it is only a dream to me
I saw you standing there
Alone with your guitar
Staring into the mirror
It goes I need you here with me
I need you just to see me
I need you here with me
Yet it is only a dream to me

11.20.2009

It's chapstick, and chapped lips, and things like chemistry.

I was sorting the books today
and I looked at my chem textbook from last year
I decided to do a gas problem
because that was the one topic I actually have always enjoyed
even in high school

2KClO3(s) -> 2KCl + 3O2

The oxygen produced was collected by displacement of water at 22 C at a total pressure of 754 torr. The volume of the gas was .650 L, and the vapor pressure of water at 22 C is 21 torr. Calculate the partial pressure of O2 in the gas collected and the mass of KClO3 in the sample that was decompressed.

Partial pressure of O2
Ptotal=Po2 + PH20+21 torr=754 torr
Partial pressure of O2=733 torr=.964 atm

Number of moles of O2
nO2=Po2V/RT

V=.065 L
T=295 K
R=.08206 L*atm/K*mol

nO2=2.59 x 10^-2 mol

mole ratio= 2mol KClO3/ 3 mol O2

2.59 x 10^-2 mol O2 * (2mol KClO3/ 3 mol O2)= 1.73 x 10^-2 mol KClO3

1.73 x 10^-2 mol KClO3 * (122.6 g KClO3/1 mol KClO3)= 2.12 g KClO3

I'm sometimes awesome

Oh and by the way
fuck you magnesium.
with your 2+ oxidation
and your 24.31 molar mass.
plus that silly half reaction of Mg 2+ + 2e- -> Mg giving you a reduction potential of -2.37 V
oh and don't think I forgot about your entropy of 33 joules per mol kelvin
and that you don't have entropy or free energy
therefore you SHOULDN'T EXCIST!
because you make me sick to my stomach
... literally >.<

on a note not concerning my bowel movements
my mohawk is hella.


11.19.2009

Sara K...

wants to play guitar and sing her little heart out and write songs on the balcony while I watch the sun rise with rose


is too young

is waiting waiting waiting as usual


wished time would go by fasterrr


really never sleeps..


is damn well ready for this to be over...


thinks its all bullshit


knows that she'll break you in two.


got no sleep at all


and I'm burning, I'm burning, I'm burning for you


..boy she said comeover, comeover, she smiled at you boy.


is heartbreak, cigarettes and songs, with a winter's chafe


doesnt need to worry anymore


could be another fool or an exception to the rule, you tell me the morning after


just can't read you

papa wojciech "you haven't gotten any boys pregnant lately did you sara???" lmao


the heart wants what it wants dont ask for more. Teen Lovers, don't wait.


doesnt sleep, she jams!


"I can imagine her being a hipster prostitute, only catering to the men in flannel"


will run until my feet don't touch the ground


memory of late nights and coffee in bed


alone I could barely light a match, but together we can burn this place down.


let's write a song we can sing to.


spends her nights watching horrible horror movies.


the truth is not kind, and you've said neither am I


challenges you to a game of Rock Paper Scissor Lizard Spock...mother fucker


What part of an inverse tangent approaching an asymptote don't you understand???


is very disappointed in the big bang theory right now. It needs to load a lot faster and needs to stop pausing at the good parts and making us wait. And yes, I'd kill my Rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister.


been dancing on the tops of buildings.


I know my pre-calculated charm will soon run low.


just had an arguement with papa wojice about the difference between tracer rounds and high explosive rounds...damn you military channel for creating such arguements in this house!


let's go in the park and write songs, play guitar and blow bubbles.


can't sleep. story of my life.


had a good laugh when tracy opened a package from her mother, and it was a big package of chinese herbs. Her mom thinks she has the swine flu.


I need some sleep. You can’t go home like this. I try counting sheep. But there’s one I always miss.


had a great time today. but right now, I'm so tired and exhausted, that I can't even sleep. "summers alive, the heat subsides, inside the air conditioned car. but life's like this: cycling fists and trotting home all alone"


Pay attention, we're ready. Did we mention we're ready?Falling faster, this disaster came together. We're ready. :)


I've been thinking that we should say fuck it and tell them all that we're breaking the rules. Because the outcome appears to be worth it. We could get lost in each other.


load up on dayquil. finish my math homework. skateboard to school. load up on more dayquil. go to class. come home. wallow in self pity with tracy and barbara and captain morgan. repeat.



is laying down in bed with tracy♥ ,pinki and night, listening to depressing songs, cause we suck at life apparently.


Rainy days keep all away. And while all's away, we'll come out to play. But i'll take my chances with the cold. Grit my teeth and bare my soul.



Friday left me hopeless. Saturday left me scared. Sunday drove me crazy. Monday just reminded me that I'm still here.


the only way you'll know is by just giving it a shot! :)


used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that. park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me.


if life was a highway, i'd be drunk at the wheel.


isn't expecting much.


makes plans to break plans, and I've been planning something big ;)


The songs aren't random. I pick each one carefully. They all say the words that I'm scared, will scare you away.


knows you feel wind from different currents. Mine's warm like you. Yours is cold, so blue.




i've got some problems, but we've got 10 dollars. That's enough to get us wasted before the night is over. The past 5 days I've been completely sober, but tonight I'm getting ripped wide open.



Do you regret everything that you said to ever make her feel like she was something special, or that she ever really mattered? Or did I ever really matter?



i'm a terrible person...


Hey there it's good to see you again. It never felt like calling this "just friends". I'm happy if your happy with yourself. Take off your shirt, your shoes. Those skinny jeans I bought for you. We're diving in there's nothing left to lose...


If you still can't find a reason, if you got no tears to cry. Let's realize, it's time to let this die.


I have been waiting for july to come around. I hear the summer whispering the things to come.


knows she doing too much and trying too hard..


Wherever we will go, we'll take it nice & slow...


Tomorrow am off to adventures with Hendryx, Rose and Cassy of cheesey steak goodness and cheap hotel rooms, and friday will be filled with amazing music and dallas green.


knows your lying through your teeth.


Well, alright, I'm sorry I even tried. I was a fool to have hope in you.


at this point, you need to give me a reason to care.



strange coincidences. this guy at the bus stop asked if I had a cigarette. I said no. I thought this would've been a weird question but I asked him if he had rolling tobacco, cause I had paper. he actually did and he had no paper. And he was from Philly,


right now, it's golden. But soon it will be steel. Steel with an inner core of gold. That gold will always be there, but one day it will have the strength of an outer steel shield.


I didnt know you cared so much. I'm sorry for everything, and not believing you. I really just wish I knew what to do right now. I know it's not that simple, and we wish it was. I want to say so much, but I just don't know how (even though I never stop talking)



When time and confusion collide, singing, "I hold it all when I hold you." ...It's about the passions that we ache for. What makes your heart beat faster. Tell me now, what does your body long after...


What have I gotten into this time around? I know that I had sworn I'd never trust anyone again but I didn't have to. You had me at hello.


dance the night away. fake rave&&jungle juice. successful night? I think so.


You said it hurts and you know that I believe you. Searching every little thing to find a way to tell your heart just to wait a little longer. I swear we'll make it.




you're there and I'm still here. I swear I'm so confused. The signs you wear are making me feel like I'm the one to lose.


I'm a nervous wreck, Well I've got a bad feeling about this, when it comes to this.


Each touch belongs to each new sound. Say now you want to shake me too.


Tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that I can't say.


So I had the alcohol munchies, so me and tracy went to burger king, but it was closed. So I had to resort to 711 food. It's garbage day, so we kept seeing cute furniture on our way home, but all of it was broken. Then we came across this really cute coffee table. So we carried it home, and it wasn't easy with tracy being quite intoxicated lol.


She's got a target painted on her back, and keeps a list of the qualities a good girl lacks.


i'm just about ready to give up on you.


is being the cheesiest cornball right now. But I know it's all worth it.


doesn't deserve this punishment =[


I’ll be there just to watch you fall. So don’t push me, I've got nothing to lose.


Like the climate, you never know what weather you'll get. No denying you're the habit that I can't quit. It's only a matter of time.


So I start school again today. And i'm up painting/creating a sexy sexy dresser. But it makes sense, cause my only class today is art studio. I'm just preparing the creative juices.


new day. new chords to play. new song to sing.


I want to get stuck. I want to get stuck in your memories.


So if I'm a lier & you're a thief, at least we both know where the other one sleeps & lets end this tonight


walked 8 miles alone from the brooklyn promenade in 4 yr old torn up Vans. It was extremely long, I had to improvise directions, I have a blister, but at least my ipod stayed alive the entire time =]


Cause we're gonna wake up, we're gonna wake up the night. The night is strange and new cause love is soaking through. And in a daze I'll run to you, and I will throw my arms around you.


It's a good story but I don't want to live it alone


I can wait wait to take you home. Well I can wait but only for so long, and then I'm having my way with you and making you my own.


wasted way too much time on you.


he's only a novelty distraction. A slain regret and a promise to repeat.


I know I give you comfort but this drama makes me sick.



This routine has become so tiring


If you're not ready, you're not ready. Please stop acting like you are.


these hands will always be rough


I should scream at the top of my lungs "I'm done with you"


When hearts hang on the line, and all that you fear has happened, let the memories count the miles, and never be forgotten.



Make me believe, that this is important. There's only so long that I can pretend.


Who let, who let this feeling die, when all I did was try? Who let, you let this feeling die. I can't get you out of my head, my head. You're the flame that burns me so I know that I'm still alive.


i'll try and paint for you something so simple yet complicated, because that's all this ever was.



thanks to every for the birthday wishes and for making the party an amazing time. now it's time to shower and go on an adventure. ...I feel you in my heart and I don't even know you. I was NINETEEN. I felt you in my life before I ever thought to felt the need to lay down beside you and tell you...


Change will come...oh change has come.


I know it's probably wrong, but it could possibly be right.





threw caution to the wind but I've got a lousy arm


Our act of defiance. We keep this secret in our blood. So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight.


They took a step back, thought about it, what should they do? Cause theres always repercussions. But their lips met, and reservations started to pass, whether this was just an evening or a thing that would last.


wants to walk pet dinosaurs through fields of green, blue, and pink spotted mushrooms with you.


I could end this in seconds. I know it but I don't dare.





A timeline of recent history
I bet you think it was all about you
It's really not
But sometimes it was

Oh the patterns are discrete
But way too obvious