Stop fearing love.

There are miles
and there is love
the miles are far
just as the lovers are.

Shake the miles
and shake the love

love, there's no point in waiting
when the wait is measured in miles.

There is you
and there is me
you are strange
and i'm the same

But i'm not strange
And you're not strange
We're strangely normal
but it's hard to see

They don't understand
And they don't see
what I see in you
why you would want me

I measure in miles
you measure in love
When the miles become zero
and when you learn to love
I'll stop measuring the love in miles
And you'll stop fearing love.


Oh I was a fool, but so were you.

so here I am at almost 7 in the morning.
unable to sleep
as usual.
I wish I could find what keeps me awake.
and stop it.

so much has happened, I don't even know where to begin.
but I know where it ends.
me being a bad person again.
that's always where it ends.
even if I don't try.
and even when I try to fix it, it still ends that way.
I hurt so many people with everything I do.

My biggest secret recently got out.
It was the worst thing I've ever done.
I can never be forgiven for it.
But at this point in time, I really don't care if I'm ever forgiven.
Others handled it like fucking children.
I feel like a fool now for even caring about it.
At first I wanted to salvage what I destroyed.
But at look back at recent history and I wonder if there's even anything left to salvage?
...or if it's even worth it?
I know they'll think that these are just cowardly actions of mine, but their's were equally cowardly.
I was a fool for thinking that my life was ruined because of it.
Honestly, not much has changed.

I look at all the terrible things that have happened,
and then I look at all the great things that have happened.
and the latter just completely outshines the former.

A few months ago, I wouldn't have thought I'd be in this position.
Walking on eggshells with every action I take.
But at the same time, I feel like I can just crush the eggshells without a care if they make a sound.

Right now, tracy isabel mitchell and hendryx are all sound asleep in the bedroom
while I'm writing away on hendryx's laptop.
Tracy and Isabel just recently started dating, and what a odd couple they seem to be
especially that tracy only about a month ago did not like isabel at all.
But when you tear down both their walls, it's like looking at 2 diaries.
And they're both just filled with stories of heartbreak, pain, insecurity, but packed with love.
It's gonna be hard for them. They both have a lot on their plates. Their plates are filled like as if an obese person were to go to an all-you-can-eat buffet.
But this will just test them. I have faith in both of them, that they can make whatever they want happen.

I'm gonna go attempt to sleep again.