If you take me home tonight I know that we will kiss and one of us will fall in love and it will be a mess

but if you want to take that chance then please let me know.

There's actually not much to write about. But I can't sleep, therefore I write.

I feel like I've been living through other people's problems. I care more
about what's going on in their lives than my own. Is it because
I think my own life is boring?
Or are their lives that genuinely more interesting? I hope to believe 
it's just that I care about others, and that they can all be helped.

Things I'm looking forward to:
Going to the beach in about 7 hours.
Freddy's Party/Richard's bday on friday
Warped tour 7/17 with hendryx, rose and cassy

I haven't been to warped tour in I think 2 years now, and I kinda 
miss it. I've had so many great memories there. However, this year's 
gonna be a bit different
1-we're going to camden,nj instead of long island
2-im going without my sister
3-i'm driving with friends instead of being dropped off by oscar's aunt
4-we're leaving the day before to spend the night in philidelphia
5-there aren't that many bands im excited to see, so it's not like the 
other years where i'm rushing around to see the numerous
amounts of bands I love

bottom line though is...
I cant wait.

I'm thinking of witty things to say
And I get ash on my keyboard
The smoke lingers on my shoulders
The smoke makes my eye need a rub

But there's not much to say
It's all been sung in the songs
The songs we sing in your car
The songs that explain my heart

The songs aren't random
I pick each one carefully
They all say the words that I'm scared
Will scare you away

I don't want to say anything cliche
Like you are the words to my songs
or that you are the ocean to my waves
It's all been said

I'm gonna listen to every song I own
Hoping to find one that'll say what I feel
But they all seem wrong
I can't find the perfect song

So i'll attempt to write for you
Even though I won't be happy with it
It'll still feel incomplete
I'll still feel empty

I don't want to scare you with love songs
Because I'm not in love
And I know you aren't either
At least not with me


time goes by faster and faster

I feel a bit overwhelmed. There's so much to write and there's only so much that my fingers can type. 

My father left for poland about 2 weeks ago and he left the apartment to me and tracy. We hosted a couple parties. They were fun. 
Lots of drinking and good times.
Lots of hanging out with good friends.
Filipino Parade then coney island afterwards.
Hookah bars and dancing.
Hester's death.
Drunken text messages confessing to crushes.
Couples breaking up.
Friends hooking up and then never speaking again afterwards.
Crying and emotions.
Realizations and heartbreaks.

I don't know what I would do without some people. My old friends who have been there through everything. My new friends who are there for me now. My roommate who couldnt be more awesome then she already is.

I've gone through self revelations. I'm changing the one thing I hate about myself. And it's not that I hate it really. It just causes me and others pain that could be avoided. And it's ironic when I decide to change this, others revert back to it. The irony is even greater that one person is the person that I'm interested in. 

I'm not going to let it get to me though. I plan to stay indifferent. The more I stay indifferent, the less i'll get hurt in the end. And I know I will be hurt either way, because of what has been said to me and to others already. But I've gotten through worse already, and I can definitely get through this.

Amazing Rain
-The Basement (aka tracy and sara :P )

D                  G
Rainy days keep all away.
And while all's away, we'll come out to play.
G                                     D
Scream our lungs dry and take our time.
We'll get kicked out for breaking all the rules.
And since we act like kids, we'll get treated like kids at school.

We'll drive to the beaches.
The sand too cold to bear.
   A C
So let's sit on the dock and drink ourselves warm.

D                               Am               C
But i'll take my chances with the cold.
Grit my teeth and bear my soul.
Walk away and turn my back to the rest.
Sit down and pull my knees to my chest.

Stare out at the dark  empty sea.
But really I can see all that's around me.

To my left and to my right 
I see fog covering the piers and boardwalks
Their light tries to break through the fog
Creating a ghost world hovering in the smog.

My eyes are fixed on the sand.
I ache to see your shadow coming to haunt me.
Every change of light makes my heart race

But you didn't walk over to the ocean
You didn't come over to me.
You stayed with all of our friends
I guess that bottle was better company.

We make our way back to our blinding city lights
The whole car's asleep
Besides us singing with out hearts

And then I looked at you.
To read your eyes.
You took them off the road
But for just one second
And in that second you told me 
But I didn't know what you said
Everything we had or was nothing at all?
And on that rainy day.
While all's away.
We went out to play.