I'm Weird because I hate goodbyes

And here we go again.
Same story.
Different time.
It always happens like this.
If I try to fix it, I could possibly just ruin it all.
I wish I could easily forget everything.
I wish I could easily not think about anything.
Truth is my mind never stops.
One thing to another.
One problem to the next.
It never stops.
I can't concentrate.
I can't sleep.
I can't even be happy.

I wish I knew what would fix all of this.
Some things I know would help.
But i'm just so hesitant to ask for help.
I have the hardest time admitting something is wrong.
Even though I know there is.
The only things that makes it okay are when I get lost in thought.
I get so lost that I don't even remember what I'm thinking.
But then I make some form of connection to what's troubling me.
It's a horrible cycle that I just can't seem to stop.

I would love to know what I do wrong.
Because all I do is try to make myself and others happy.
But maybe what I think makes others happy really just pushes them away.
I have no way of knowing this though.
No one says what they feel
No one says what they think.
Am I the only person that actually enjoys talking about emotions?
It feels so amazing to just be able to tell a person how you feel or how you feel about them
Or to just be able to talk about a situation youre in.
I love having everything in the open.
Communication is so important to me sometimes.
Even though I know I'm not always going to hear things I want to hear.
I hear the truth.
I hear honesty
I hear your thoughts
Your emotions.
Your fears.
Your issues.
I want to know.
I want to know it all.
I want to be able to help.
I want to know where I stand.
Where I am in your life.
What I am to you.
What you love about me.
What you hate about me.
Alexisonfire reference time.
Sometimes love isn't about
how much someone suits you
But how much you're willing to change to suit them.
But this only works when you actually KNOW what to change
Or what to do.

Barbara just texted me saying "I like to make myself believe...that planet earth turns slowly"
I responded saying "I'm weird cause I hate goodbyes"
Which is very true.
I do really hate goodbyes.
Does that make me weird?
I think everyone hates goodbyes.
There's not reason a person would love to say goodbye (unless it's to a person that they truely do not care for)
But in general, goodbye is never a word that is fun to say.

Lab is over.
So my ranting shall have to wait to continue til later.
Time to call rose now and talk about our possible Death Cab For Cutie Musical.