10.08.2009

And if I fail well then I failed, but at least I gave you something.

So here I am.
On the eve of my birthday party.
With a fresh pack of parliaments, 711 iced coffee, paint and a canvas
I want her to love this. She doesn't know what she means to me.
I want to put so much into making her smile.
That's all I want.

I have only good expectations for our birthday party.
I want to enjoy it
But I know there's only so much that can make my mind forget.
I know the whole time what i'll be thinking

I'm not even sad or upset anymore.
It's more of an "impending doom" feeling.
Okay that's a little extreme.
It's upsetting even though I know I will move on.
I know what you're going to tell me.
You should have told me a long time ago.
Or at least just not make all of this go on for so long.
I gave you the option of letting this go so many times, but you were the one saying to keep going.
I guess I should've been the stronger one and stopped it all.

Cartel+ThisProvidence October 23? Yes please.


Cartel- If I fail

Time to go, "This is goodbye"
She said "Does it ever get easier to live like this"
And kiss the cheek
For I can't kiss you anymore
And I, I would honestly love you now
But I would lovingly let you down

Oh I have the hardest time resisting you
And oh if you
If you feel the same way then how can we be friends
He's right you know
We can't go on like this
And oh I try to give you everything
And if I fail well then I failed
But at least I gave you something

I could put my trust in giving up the heart
It makes the difference
And how can you afford to settle down
When I, I would promise to love you now
But I would lovingly let you down

Oh I have the hardest time resisting you
And oh if you
If you feel the same way then how can we be friends
He's right you know, we can't go on like this
And oh I try to give you everything
And if I fail well then I failed
But at least I gave you something

(It's better than silence)
(Give me one good reason)

It's better than silence (you know)
Give me one good reason (you know)
To leave this in silence (you know)
No, you don't have a good reason (you know)

If you feel the same way then how can we be friends
He's right you know, we can't go on like this
And oh I try to give you everything
And if I fail well then I failed
But at least I gave you something

It's better than silence
It's better than silence

and this is where we end.
just thinking about it makes me want to cry.
but it's just for the better.
I can't continue like this.
It's as if you're not even there when we're together.
I don't know what I deserve, because i'm not very deserving.
But I know I deserve to be involved with someone who might show me what I try to show them.
That's all I ask.
I tried so hard.
Probably even too hard.
I know I can't change you, and maybe I tried to without even knowing it.
Amazing birthday, huh?

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