Oh I was a fool, but so were you.

so here I am at almost 7 in the morning.

unable to sleep

as usual.

I wish I could find what keeps me awake.

and stop it.

so much has happened, I don't even know where to begin.

but I know where it ends.

me being a bad person again.

that's always where it ends.

even if I don't try.

and even when I try to fix it, it still ends that way.

I hurt so many people with everything I do.

My biggest secret recently got out.

It was the worst thing I've ever done.

I can never be forgiven for it.

But at this point in time, I really don't care if I'm ever forgiven.

Others handled it like fucking children.

I feel like a fool now for even caring about it.

At first I wanted to salvage what I destroyed.

But at look back at recent history and I wonder if there's even anything left to salvage?

...or if it's even worth it?

I know they'll think that these are just cowardly actions of mine, but their's were equally cowardly.

I was a fool for thinking that my life was ruined because of it.

Honestly, not much has changed.

I look at all the terrible things that have happened,

and then I look at all the great things that have happened.

and the latter just completely outshines the former.

A few months ago, I wouldn't have thought I'd be in this position.

Walking on eggshells with every action I take.

But at the same time, I feel like I can just crush the eggshells without a care if they make a sound.

Right now, tracy isabel mitchell and hendryx are all sound asleep in the bedroom

while I'm writing away on hendryx's laptop.

Tracy and Isabel just recently started dating, and what a odd couple they seem to be

especially that tracy only about a month ago did not like isabel at all.

But when you tear down both their walls, it's like looking at 2 diaries.

And they're both just filled with stories of heartbreak, pain, insecurity, but packed with love.

It's gonna be hard for them. They both have a lot on their plates. Their plates are filled like as if an obese person were to go to an all-you-can-eat buffet.

But this will just test them. I have faith in both of them, that they can make whatever they want happen.

I'm gonna go attempt to sleep again.

Night/Morning.