Limit me, restrict me, cut me off.

I just wrote a whole post, and I read it and realized "wow, I really shouldn't post that". There really would be some consequences if certain people have read it. I've been anonymously blogging for the past 2 years, and I just decided like last week to come out from the dark. I'm really not used to it. 

Anonymous-ity really provides such power to say all.

 I would just type and type and type.

Never skipping a thought.

No thought was told it wasn't good enough to be written down.

Self-censorship. That's sort of what it feels like. I have to sort through what I want to write and turn some things down. It's not that i'm ashamed of anything. Wait, I take that back. Ashamed was the wrong word. It's just that I'm not entirely comfortable enough with some things going on in my life to just convey them to the world. I guess my focus on the topics was different. In my "secret" blog, I was writing to myself. I wrote to share things with myself, in hope of better understanding of my own thoughts. With this blog site, I feel like I have an audience, even though I really don't.

Damn you perspective. 

Damn you to hell.

Hey Man [Now You're Really Living]

Eels

Do you know what it's like to fall on the floor

And cry your guts out 'til you got no more
Hey man now you're really living

Have you ever made love to a beautiful girl
Made you feel like it's not such a bad world
Hey man now you're really living

Do you know what it's like to care too much
'bout someone that you're never gonna get to touch
Hey man now you're really living

Have you ever sat down in the fresh cut grass
And thought about the moment and when it will pass
Hey man now you're really living

Just saw the sun rise over the hill

Never used to give me much of a thrill

But hey man now i'm really living

I feel it like the rain, you've settled in my bones

Alright, so the end of the semester is coming up.

When I get stressed over things I need to accomplish, I tend to make lists.

They're comforting.

• Geology research paper
• DFG's wiki paper
• DFG's final
• English research paper
• English thesis
• Get all my host school entries together

okay, so I guess it's only 5 things. But that's quite a hefty 5 things to do.

sounds like fun fun fun

So the weekend ahead.

Friday, chemistry lecture in the morning and then chemistry lab in the afternoon. I should be done with lab at around 2-3. Then there's some party over in Williamsburg tomorrow night, and if nathaniel would actually text me back the details of it, I would know what time it is. I'm not sure if I want to go home before the party or just stay out in the city. I guess I should go home to drop off my bag, and possibly shower before. If that's the case I'll go to Beacon's Closet on my way home then. 

Saturday, during the day I'm gonna meet up with Miguel. I'm happy that I'm gonna see him. I haven't really spoken to him or hung with him in quite some time. We have a ridiculous amout of things to catch up on. He's going to attempt to teach me how to skateboard. I'm actually a bit scared. I skateboarded a bit when I was younger, but back then I was a fearless little one. Now I'm terrified of the asphalt. At night there's Matt Melvin's birthday party thing at his place over in brooklyn. 

Sunday, I got nada.

I realized that I love writing about what I plan to do rather than what I did already. Why is that?

Were the things that happened not interesting enough?

Do I not remember?

Do I not want to remember?

I like to look ahead. It's sort of the same reason why little kids want to be older. They're excited.

I'd rather be excited about things that I haven't done rather than the things I've done already.

One True Thing - Finally

this definitely has to be the album I was most excited to be released. I saw One True Thing at a show when I was about 11, and I just fell in love with them, and I followed there music ever since. I listened to the entire album today, and this is one album I will never get sick of. 

Waiting in the TA room to do our host school presentation. We're having technical difficulties with the macbooks for the powerpoint. The other host school teacher is a massive cunt. She's all anal about EVERYTHING. We're now discussing hair && high school && reminsing about old times. After this, we're gonna crack open some of the Stella's that I brought. Let the good times roll.

I've decided to take my thoughts public. Private && anonymous blogging was always my thing. But what do I really have to hide?